10 Easyish Steps To Get Rid Of Mickey
by yeknodelttil
Summary: Rose finds an interesting list.


**10 Easy(ish) Steps To Get Rid Of Mickey**

Title: 10 Easy(ish) Steps To Get Rid Of Mickey

Author: yeknodelttil

Series: Doctor Who

Rating: K+

Genre: Romance

Characters: Doctor (tenth), Rose,

Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't own them, So pretty please don't sue!

Author's Note: Summat I did when I was bored

Summary: Rose finds an interesting list.

Rose hated laundry day in the TARDIS. She didn't mind laundry day back home, everything would be placed into neat boxes where she could just gather things up and slip them into the washing machine. Firstly the TARDIS had a temperamental washing machine thing, secondly everything had to go in neatly to come out neatly and thirdly the Doctor never, ever, ever emptied his pockets.

His ninth version wasn't as bad, he never used to have as many pockets and he never used to be as messy as he was now. Oh how times change.

Sighing Rose picked up his discarded dark blue shirt off the floor; the material had massive blobs of grease covering it. God knows why this version had chosen to wear a suit; his pockets were irritating enough to empty. Delving into the first pocket she pulled out a packet of chewing gum, yoyo, and a penknife.

"He's bloody MacGyver!" Rose muttered to herself. The main issue with his clothes was that he had enough pockets to hide at least 20 puppies, okay maybe that was a bit exaggerated, 19 puppies. Reaching into another pocket she found duck tape and his spare pair of glasses, which he was going to lose if he didn't watch what he did with them. "Mary Poppin's pockets too!"

After a short while Rose discovered she only had one more pocket to go, considering the size of the pile she'd created from his things that he never, ever used, at least she hoped it was the last pocket. Reaching into his inside jacket pocket rose pulled out a piece of tatty but folded paper. The paper had obviously travelled around with him quite a bit, for a moment Rose debated on reading the paper or putting down on his bed. Her curiosity won and she opened the paper up to read only to have her eyes widen in shock.

The Doctor was hiding in one of the TARDIS' many junk rooms. He knew better than to be around Rose Tyler on laundry day, Rose could be as fierce as her mum if not fiercer when she wanted to. Even a Dalek would be scared of Rose when she was mad.

The Doctor poked his head out of the door and seeing no one there slowly crept into the corridor. After he cautiously walked forward a few steps he pelted down the corridor towards the control room as fast as he could. If he wasn't caught he could live for a while longer without a lecture on emptying his pockets. So what if he left suits with his spare glasses lying on the floor. If they were broken oh well, that's what spares are designed to do. The Doctor paused in the control room looking round in awe, the TARDIS never ceased to amaze him, the vortex inside had been with him for most of his life, his oldest friend yet he knew nothing about it.

In contrast Rose was his newest friend and luckily she had accepted his regeneration with some ease, unlike some of his previous companions. Unfortunately for him Rose came with baggage, he was happy that the baggage didn't want to come along though if he had to choose between either having Mickey the Idiot or Jackie who could slap for Great Britain he would choose the best option any day, Jackie. He hated Mickey with a vengeance he was a wimp who treated Rose as an object instead of a person, Mickey could throw tantrums about Rose rushing off to save the world instead of being a supporting boyfriend.

"DOCTOR!" Came a scream from what sounded like his bedroom. "WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?"

"Whatever it was I didn't do it!" He called back suddenly realising how childish he was to have replied. He dove behind the great brass mushroom consol in the centre of the room, knowing full well that Rose wouldn't dare hurt the TARDIS. He, an alien of 950 years could face Daleks, Cybermen, Werewolves and Ghosts with ease but when it came to Rose he was scared of a small human 20 year old.

"DOCTOR!" The yell came again sounding as if it was coming closer.

"I meant to empty the pockets I just…forgot!" He finished lamely, he saw Rose at the end of the corridor storming towards him. As if fate would have it the TARDIS only backlit the corridor so all he could see was her shadow coming at him. When she entered the control room he could tell she was furious with him. Her brown eyes burnt with anger, her cheeks red with fire and her expression clearly read of 'don't mess with me'. He walked round the consol a few times trying to avoid her before tripping over some treacherous wiring and stumbling backwards. He found himself stepping further and further back trying to get out of the way. He realised her was trapped when her hand flew out and slapped him. "Ow!" He lifted his own hand up and rubbed his cheek. "What did I do? I wasn't being rude again." Rose stood there with her hands on her hips looking at him, he couldn't help but realise how beautiful she looked when she was angry.

"What did you do Doctor? Well let's see shall we?" Rose held up the piece of paper and was glad that he had the decency to blush. "What's this?"

"Something that kept me occupied when we've been captured…" He mumbled. "I like it!"

"Shall we have a read?"

"Getting Rid Of Mickey In 10 Easy(ish) Steps…"

"I can explain…"

"NUMBER ONE!" She raised her voice interrupting him. "Use the sonic screwdriver set on max on him.

2. Push him off a cliff of Rasilca 4.

3. Give him to the Daleks to ex-ter-min-ate.

4. Throw him out of the TARIDS while in the time vortex…" The Doctor started to grin as she read the list out once again imagining these things.

"Are you finding this funny?" She asked giving him a shrill look. He quickly lost his grin, looking at her more seriously.

"Not at all!"

"5. Ask K9 to use his laser on Mickey.

6. Turn him into a Cyberman and blow him up.

7. Just blow him up.

8. Set Jackie on him.

9. Get him Ann-Droided (P.S this'll happen in the first round!)

10. Land the TARDIS on him then sing 'The Wicked Witch is Dead'."

11. Give him to the Slitheen." She paused and looked at the list again. "I thought it was ten ways not 15!"

"I had more ideas." He admitted sheepishly.

"12. Let the Werewolf eat him.

13. Let the Reapers at him.

14. Let the TARDIS have a go." Rose paused. "The TARDIS doesn't like him?" The Doctor shook his head; Rose looked at the TARDIS and shrugged.

"15…. Why is fifteen blank Doctor?" She asked carefully. He shrugged. "TELL ME!" She shouted making him wince. She held the paper up to the light it looked like something had been written in the space of number fifteen. "Pass me your screwdriver." He passed it to her before she could shout at him again. He really shouldn't have shown Rose how to work on the screwdriver. Rose waved the screwdriver over the paper and the words became clear. "Tell Rose the truth. What truth?"

"Dunno." He answered half turning away from her.

"You're lying. Whenever you lie you play with your ear." The Doctor hand dropped down, Rose looked into his eyes and saw tears. She caught him as he slid down the wall; she pulled his head against her chest and kissed his chestnut brown hair. "Its not that bad is it?" After a few minutes he composed himself.

"Its stupid really."

"Come on tell me."

"I thought that to get rid of Mickey that you might be able to mumf te." He grew quieter and quieter until she had no idea what he was saying.

"Pardon I didn't quite catch that?" The Doctor sighed and mumbled a few curses in Galifreyan, God he had a mouth on him when he wanted one.

"Look I'm not quite sure how this works so you can slap me, kick me, even punch me if you have to. Okay?" She nodded. "I love you." He quickly closed his eyes bracing himself for the beating he was sure to receive; he slowly opened one eye when no slap came. "What have I done?" He mumbled to himself and gathered her into his arms. "I'm sorry, I should've kept my mouth shut I really shoudn't've…" Rose kissing him sweetly promptly cut him off; the Doctor eagerly returned the kiss, tightening his grip on her to make sure she couldn't get away. Both were overjoyed at the turn in events.

"Got a pen?" Rose panted once they had pulled away; the Doctor offered her a puzzled glance. None the less he reached into his pocket and pulled out a biro, handing it to her. Rose bent down on the TARDIS consol and scribbled something down on the piece of paper before handing it back to him. His grin widened to become a toothy smile as he read what she had written on the paper.

"Number 16. Let Rose to dump him."

Rose managed to whisper one more thing before their lips met again. "Amen!"

THE END 


End file.
